Anger is one of the most common emotions that surfaces when grief and loss have to be confronted. It is a normal human response if you feel abandoned, betrayed, disrespected by a comment, or undeserving of the experience you are facing. Anger tells us we have to do something; it is an adaptive experience.
If you have been taught early in life that anger is a bad emotion or that only people with little or no self-control show their anger, it is quite likely that you will suppress or stuff this emotion deep inside. By keeping it within and sharing it with no one, you set yourself up to become depressed and may have to deal with the physical effects of another little understood emotion.
What can you do? How can you use your anger?
1. Nothing became angry with the loss and change, dealing with errors. This is critical to understand your mental health. And, like any other emotion, it is wise to allow the bottom of your anger, identify the source, and do anything to solve the problem. On resolving the key is to try to understand why the development of the situation. This is what is behind everything. Your anger is justified or exaggerated words, you is not worth it to steam?
2nd Resolving anger is in your best interest to one main reason: it takes a devastating toll on all the cells in your body and your emotional disposition. For any thoughts and feelings we have the body has a physical counterpart. Your body takes the punishment of the wrath not only when you deal with it at first, but each time the anger-causing Replay scene in your mind. This is extremely harmful.
3. ?Become aware that anger can be hidden or camouflaged in anxiety, sarcasm, jealousy, dependency, depression, withdrawal, fear, and feelings of frustration or abandonment. It is all about your ego. Become aware of whether or not you are repressing anger (consciously stuffing it within) or using it to cover up deeper fears or feelings.
4. Decide what you are specifically angry about. Find someone you trust to tell the specifics to and who will simply listen. Trying to resolve your anger is in your best interests and sharing it is one of the most therapeutic things you can do as you grieve. You are trying to clarify the specifics of your anger with your friend so you can do something about it. Make every effort to determine if you are holding on to your anger as a way to stay connected to the deceased.
5th Consider the purposes for which you can put your anger. Anger is always a purpose. If it helps you to understand your limits? Your wishes? Her sadness? Your real friends? Their need for tolerance? Her deep love for the deceased? Let fury of discovery involved in your grief play. Is it you think of the adoption of the death of your loved one? Is it the government or by the excessive dependency on the deceased and that is why it is difficult for you to talk about, had? It is not unusual, angry at the deceased. Do you leave or forsake you?
Take the time to think about the above questions as you choose to let go of your anger and use it to take advantage of creative ideas and insights. Place yourself in the shoes of the person who is the focus of your anger. This is especially important because often you can then find a reason to forgive. For example, realizing human weakness and reasoning as to why certain things were said or done, can be useful. Accept the fact that we are all imperfect. Ask yourself what you would tell a friend who came to you for advice in dealing with the anger you are harboring. Then take your own advice.
6. Do something with anger. Staying angry and wanting revenge is resisting inevitable change. Resistance guarantees that anger will continue to persist and be problematical. Allow it to educate you and help cope with your loss. Then let it flow out.
Temporary fixes are to vent: exercise a release, shout, pound a pillow or tear something up. This helps but does not resolve anger. Find ways to channel your feelings into constructive action (perhaps so others might not be subject to what you are going through). Look at your anger as a form of energy to use in building something good. It may help to write about it, then burn the notes, throw, or let go of the anger in some symbolic way. You must take action to get at the specific cause and resolve it by obtaining the needed information, confronting the source, and/or forgiving. Consider what is bugging the person who is the source of your anger. What experiences in life contributed to their unwanted behavior?
7. Forgiveness is to get rid of your anger and physical exertion, or even elimination of depression. If you own anger is what do you think you should, you must first forgive yourself. It is often difficult to muster the forgiveness, but it is the biggest gift you can give yourself or another. You are not allowed to forgive and will not immediately remove your anger, it needs time to follow your heart your head. And forgiveness does not mean you have to forget. However, your forgiveness act will promote your health in the long run, reduce anxiety, and lift the self-esteem.
To review. Anger deep physical and emotional needs of the price. It occupies valuable space in your heart. Someone or some experience of living in your head, but you pay a price. However, this is a normal emotion, is the value of what was taken away. Moreover, it camouflage, and other emotions. First, it is often isolated inner peace and the people who can help the most grief, a mourner.
It takes courage and conviction to see your anger as a useful emotion that leads you to better self-understanding. But you can choose to grow through your courageous decision to forgive. Keep in mind Gandhi’s famous statement: “Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”